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lohstandfound · 2 years ago

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Jakob Dillinger and the Loves of His Life

A little fic/character study/examination of Jake's relationships with his friends. These can probably be interpreted however you please. Yes, this is already on AO3 and now it's here because I say so.

Jake Dillinger and Chloe Valentine were best friends in middle school. They did almost everything together. They were a force to be reckoned with. Jake was the one who fell first, getting flustered and nervous at the thought of his best friend. In freshman year, he wrote a poem. It was dumb, stupid, and honestly not even good. But he stuck it in Chloe’s locker. The next day, they were joined again at the hip as the newest and sweetest couple at Middleborough High School.

Chloe believed that she was destined for popularity, so she dragged Jake and Brooke with her. Chloe Valentine and Jake Dillinger became the queen and king of Middleborough High School. Middleborough’s ‘It’ couple then started to crumble. Fights and arguments and breakups and makeups and relief and stress. And they weren’t happy. Chloe had her claws dug into Jake, and Chloe was wrapped around Jake’s finger.

Chloe and Jake had a fight on Halloween, before the fire. Then Chloe and Jake were no more.

Chloe and Jake were bought together because of some dumb robot pills in the beaker of the school play. Chloe and Jake decided to make up.

They talked, and they talked and talked and talked. They missed each other, they missed being close, and they couldn’t imagine not being together. But being together wasn’t good for them. (Rich and Brooke both begged them to stop getting back together because why would they want to hurt themselves like that?).

Chloe and Jake decided not to date again, but they are almost joined at the hip again. There’s an understanding between them, a deep and unconditional love for their first love. They were still tied together, but no longer with a heavy chain. It was something softer, more gentle, more flexible. Chloe and Jake would never describe their relationship as romantic. In fact, Jake once said their relationship is basically a divorced couple who are still really good friends.

…

Growing to love Brooke Lohst was not part of the plan for either of them. Sure, maybe Jake wanted to get to know Chloe’s new best friend, but Chloe’s new best friend avoided him like the plague. So Jake never really got the chance to know Brooke one-on-one.

He noticed things, though. When Brooke was their third wheel. Or when he was the third wheel, particularly during trips to the mall to carry their things. He noticed Chloe liked to have control. He noticed Brooke was always in the background, always second best to Chloe.

The catalyst was their English class in Junior year. That is when they really clicked. Suddenly, Brooke didn’t avoid Jake as much. And Jake was always happy to hang out with Brooke. When she wasn’t with Chloe, when she wasn’t with anyone, Jake discovered that Brooke was bloody amazing. She was sweet, kind, fierce, smart, and determined. She had just as many goals as Chloe; she was more than just Cloe’s best friend.

Jake liked seeing more of Brooke.

Of course, Chloe used to get jealous when Brooke and Jake would hang out. It was just inevitable back then, but that didn’t stop Jake from getting close to Brooke. And sometimes, he’d surprise her by taking her out.

“Yo, B!” Jake would call out to her.

Brooke would smile as Jake pushed his way through the crowds. “Hey, J.”

Jake would sling an arm around her shoulders and flash a grin. “You doing anything tonight?”

Brooke would respond with, “I think Chloe was-”

Jake: “I didn’t ask about Chloe. I asked about you.”

Brooke: “Oh, uh, no. I don’t think I have any plans.”

Jake: “Now you do. I’m taking you out tonight.”

The first time it happened, Brooke was confused.

Brooke: “What?”

Jake: “Oh, god- Not like that, definitely not like that. Chloe would be pissed.”

Brooke: “I don’t know whether I should be hurt by that or not.”

Jake: “I’m sorry, I don’t mean in, like, a romantic way. Not a date date. Because I don’t see you in, y’know, that way and-”

Brooke: “Jake, you’re rambling again.”

Jake: “Right- uh. A platonic date. Friend date.”

And so out they would go. Pinkberry, Sbarros, rollerskating. Those were usually the locations for their friend dates. It was nice. Pleasantly surprised at the discovery of the ‘real’ Jake and the ‘real’ Brooke.

Besides, Brooke always made awesome baking and was a super good cook; Jake loved being the test subject for her new recipes. Especially anything Italian.

Jake and Brooke grew super close, especially after the play. Brooke visited him a lot in hospital, and Jake always looked forward to her visits. She bought him food, books, missed school work, and caught him up on everything he missed. And they were both left without Chloe for a period of time. It was only when Chloe saw Jake and Brooke together did she realise how much she missed them, and how much she fucked up.

…

Jake and Jenna were unexpected. Jenna never really felt seen by anyone, and Jake was seen by everyone. Everyone would talk to Jenna to hear the latest gossip, wanting to hear the dirt on someone they knew or to hear the juicy news from within the popular kid circle.

But Jake was different. Jake didn’t care about hearing the latest news and gossip. (Okay, sometimes he wanted to know what was up, but he rarely went to Jenna for that). Jake spoke to her like she was a real human being. Jake and Jenna had always shared a lot of classes together, and Jake and Jenna were always competing for the top marks in those classes.

Jenna was one of the few people to see Jake as a regular human being. He wasn’t some stereotypical dumb jock heartthrob who threw parties every other weekend. Okay, maybe he was a jock heartthrob who threw parties every other weekend. But he certainly wasn’t dumb. Maybe just a little oblivious.

Jenna was Jake’s favourite study buddy. Even if their study sessions were less study and more just hanging out. Jake wanted to make Jenna feel seen and heard, and he was certainly doing a good job at that. He let her vent about her problems and tried to give her advice. They would hang out, they were friends.

Jake was a little less open about his feelings and problems, but Jenna was observant. She noticed the way his shoulders started to drop a little, she noticed that his eyes didn’t light up the same way they used to, she noticed that his smile seemed a little forced, she noticed the way he avoided certain topics, the way he screwed up permission forms for parents only for him to hand in the crumpled letter a few days later, the way he only seemed to let himself relax when he was at a party.

Jenna was the first person to see through Jake’s act. Even if it wasn’t the whole picture. Finally, Jenna was able to return the favour and be Jake’s shoulder to cry on.

Jenna Rolan was widely known to spread any and every juicy bit of gossip she heard, but for some reason, Jake trusted her the most with the secret of his empty home.

Jake and Jenna care deeply about each other. Thick as thieves. Always looking out for each other.

…

Christine Canigula and Jake Dillinger were like fireworks. After a semi-disastrous first relationship that had suffered Chloe’s attempts at sabotage, they got on surprisingly well for exes. Like the best of friends, Christine was the first person that made Jake show off his soft side.

Christine doesn’t take shit from anyone and was not letting Jake get away with what happened during their relationship. We had an angry Christine and an already apologetic Jake.

A week later, they were hanging out again.

Jake wasn’t lying when he spoke to Christine the first time. He was enamoured seeing her act, and he loved watching her on that stage. He always loved watching her during rehearsal. She was fantastic, mesmerising, even if the play was Midsummer Night’s Dream but with zombies.

After the disastrous Midsummer Night’s Dream with Zombies, Jake decided that acting on a stage wasn’t really for him. He decided he’d be Christine’s partner when she wanted to run lines with someone, and that was it. If someone told him he should be in the upcoming school show, he’d respond with, “I am never stepping foot on that stage. The only way I’m getting up there is if Christine Canigula herself convinces me, and she never will.”

But she always does. She is determined.

Like the time he helped Christine run lines for the proper version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. A scene with Helena and Demetrius, to be precise. It was weird and difficult, and Christine was uncomfortable. Jake had already decided he wasn’t going to act. He missed the auditions. But he didn’t want Christine doing this scene with just anyone.

Three days later, Jake was cast as Demetrius.

Christine and Jake are like fireworks. Jake and Christine are a force to be reckoned with. They’re wild and fun and love each other dearly. They’re the mum friends of the group, despite the fact they need to be reminded to eat, sleep, and take breaks. Organised messes.

But, of course, they make sure the other take care of themselves. The star athlete needs to remember to eat, and the star actor needs to sleep, of course. They support each other just as much as they support their friends.

…

Jake Dillinger decided Jeremy Heere was a pretty neat person after a dance-off on Halloween. Jake had only known Jeremy as the weird, awkward kid in his grade that Rich liked to mess with. The guy who was friends with the headphones guy with the cool hoodie.

But now, Jeremy was pretty cool.

Of course, that Jeremy he got to know wasn’t exactly the real Jeremy. Besides, that Jeremy was an ass. Cheating on Brooke by sleeping with Chloe in his parents’ bedroom? Not cool.

(Although that isn’t the true story, that was just what Jake saw that night).

The real Jeremy is also pretty neat. Much, much better than before. They mesh surprisingly well. It took a while for Jeremy to warm up to the idea of Jake wanting to be his friend.

If Jeremy was being honest, he was always jealous of Jake. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect face, perfect everything. He was envious, and Jeremy was an asshole, so why was Jake trying to befriend him now?

But eventually, Jeremy began to warm up to Jake, allowing himself to enjoy the other’s company. Jake wasn’t all cool and chill and intimidating as he thought. Jake was a massive dork.

The first time Jake saw Jeremy’s room, he was gushing over anything and everything. Jeremy was almost dumbfounded. When he mentioned it around Rich and Michael, Rich just said that’s how Jake’s always been, and Michael told him about the Donkey Kong high score.

Jake and Jeremy were a wonderful pair. They balanced each other nicely. They grounded each other, they bought out sides of each other they didn’t know they had. Jeremy could learn to let loose, have fun, and make a fool of himself because Jake would be right there doing the same thing. Jake could learn to be soft, gentle, quiet, to relax because Jeremy proved to be some sort of calming presence in Jake’s whirlwind life.

Jake thought Jeremy was pretty neat; Jake liked being around Jeremy a lot.

…

Michael Mell always remained a mystery to Jake Dillinger. Michael was a mystery, and Jake was Indiana Jones. Or Lara Croft. Jake quite enjoyed the Tomb Raider games.

They had more in common than they thought.

And they admired each other for very similar reasons. Or opposites. Jake admired how little Michael cared what other people thought of him. Michael wished he could care a little bit more like Jake. Even though Michael was determined not to like Jake at first. The guy was just too perfect, but goddammit, he’s just too nice.

It was such a surprise when Michael found out that the top score on Donkey Kong at the arcade he was trying so hard to beat belonged to the one and only Jake Dillinger. Michael was determined to change that.

However, Jake was good at everything. But video games were not one of those things. The few exceptions are Tomb Raider and Donkey Kong. And Michael was determined to beat Jake at Donkey Kong. Michael was the self-appointed video game master. So, Michael would set up tournaments for the two of them, and Jake was just happy to spend time with Michael.

He liked being around Michael. The guy just seemed to know how to make anyone feel better; he was funny, gave the best hugs, and smoking with him was always pretty fun. Not to mention he felt right at home with the Mell family. Michael’s mothers always welcomed him into their home.

Eventually, they grew from their mutual admiration and one-sided gaming rivalry. Michael Mell and Jake Dillinger were great friends. They helped each other grow. The one thing they always had in common was how much they cared about their friends. Jake and Michael are the kings at gift-giving.

…

Jake Dillinger and Rich Goranski. Jake and Rich. Rich and Jake. Soulmates. They are always meant for each other, no matter what way that may be. They’ve been through hell and back and still have each other.

Maybe their relationship was built on a lie. But that doesn’t change how they felt about each other before the play, before Halloween.

Jake would wake up some nights, or maybe he was already awake at odd hours of the morning, to a knock on his door. He’d open it to find Rich standing there, a bag over his shoulder, and doing everything he could to avoid looking at Jake as he asked to crash on his couch for the night. Without fail, Jake always let him in.

It happened more and more, and Rich was always worried he was being a bother, but Jake liked the company. It went from Rich asking permission to sending a warning, to just showing up and knocking, to letting himself in if the door was unlocked.

Eventually, Jake got Rich his own key. And, very slowly, Rich just seemed to move in. And it just felt right. Jake liked having Rich around, and it motivated him to keep the kitchen stocked. And Rich liked having his safe place.

Jake and Rich are more than just best friends. They are fiercely protective of each other. Rich would jump to defend Jake. He’s explosive and ready to fight to defend those he loves. Jake is more quiet, reserved. (Maybe it’s because he wanted to focus on his friends, or maybe it’s because he doesn’t know how to process his emotions, so they sit on the back burner. Even he doesn’t know the answer to that). His focus lies more on Rich while sending the coldest death glare anyone could receive. An angry Jake Dillinger was not something you wanted.

Something then switched. Halloween. Everyone had gotten out of the house, and Jake had made sure of that. But he scanned the crowds of people for Rich, only to find him absent. Before anyone, including himself, could stop him, he ran back into the burning house. He would be damned if he lost Rich. And he found him, lighter in hand and an empty container of gasoline.

Jake was not going to lose Rich.

Jake grabbed Rich, opened the window, and jumped. That was the last time he saw Rich for a while.

They next saw each other after the play. Jake was mad. So, so, mad. Rich had seen Jake mad at other people but never at him. He knew he deserved Jake’s anger, and Jake started asking all these questions, some of which Rich didn’t know the answers to. Or he didn’t want to say them out of fear of them coming true. But they’re yelling, screaming, crying. They are both hurt, so, so hurt.

But they feel better once the silence falls over them. It’s a slow movement, but Jake slowly moves forward in the wheelchair, moving closer to Rich. He hesitates before grabbing his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. And Rich crumbles. He cries again, covering his mouth to muffle the sobs. Jake gently tugs him down into a hug.

It’s a start to rebuilding their relationship. One full of honesty and trust and love and care. They’re open with each other, they love each other, they care for each other. Maybe Jake doesn’t know the real Rich, and maybe Rich doesn’t even know who he is anymore. But they’re finding out together.

It’s Jake and Rich. Rich and Jake. How it’s always been and how it should be. Friends, brothers, soulmates.

…

Jake used to think that maybe he just wasn’t meant for a family. Destined for flings and temporary relationships and for keeping people an arm’s length away from his heart.

It took a supercomputer pill to make him realise that he did have a family, right in front of him. They certainly weren’t the family he was asking for, but it was the family he needed.

His favourite way to describe his family is that one Lilo and Stitch quote:

“This is my family. I found it all on my own. It’s little and broken… but still good. Yeah, still good.”

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